When Your Child Is Harassed at School
Because *You* Are a Belly Dancer

By Maria

Note from Shira: In Egypt, one of the biggest insults a kid at school can fling at another is to call him "Son of a Dancer." Even here in the U.S., kids at school may be harassed because their mothers are belly dancers. In this article, Maria from Boulder, Colorado shares her experience in helping her own children deal with harassment from classmates.

I have four kids, and some of my kids have had bad experiences because their mom is a bellydance teacher/performer. It is a sad, but a true fact of life that children can be cruel.

Some of the experiences my children have had range from fist fights at school to large amounts of verbal abuse. Some of the names people have called me when talking to my children are slut, whore and tramp. I am proud, however, to report that my children stuck up for themselves and never backed down from a fight. It did affect their ability to learn in a class environment, and it did affect their health. I had to coax some of this information out of them when they were younger. When children don't want to go to school and cry about it, and they are not sick, you know something's up!

Belly Dance Music

How to Deal with It

Here are some tips that have worked for me:

  1. Make an appointment with the principal and let him know of the incidents and how you will not tolerate any of that (in a nice way) of course.
  2. Call other parents if need be! Their ideas probably come from the parents, but, it lets them know that you will not let your child be harassed because their mother is teaching/performing an art form from the Middle East.
  3. Arrange to have (and this is the hardest one, most time consuming but most rewarding) a "multi-cultural" day at the school. A small assembly for the children is a great idea to start with. Dress appropriately, RE: NO cabaret outfit or flesh showing except at neck, wrist and ankle. Invite friends you may have in the ethnic dance community, such as African drummers, Flamenco dancers, Hawaiian dancers, etc, to come to the school. You can speak a little bit of the culture. Schools love for you to make a presentation educational. Make sure to check further on this website for information and articles about bellydancing, so you are armed with as much information as possible. Make sure you are as educated, polite and professional as possible when you present your ideas to the school. Do a nice cane piece or some other folk dance for the school, such as Tunisian pot dance. Schools also love handouts.

    This has really worked for me! After I did something for the first time at the school, my son became the coolest kid, because what his mom did was "SO COOL!"
  4. What do you do when you are presented with evidence of tacky bellydancing, in the way of shows, ads, newspaper articles, dancers having to be blurred out on the 4 o'clock news? Here is my answer: "Unfortunately, as in any profession, there are some that are not true representatives of the art". That's all I say, it's short, to the point, and I am not being defensive.

The older the children get, and the higher the grades, the less abuse they receive It is always the worst in middle school/junior high. Hopefully my tips will help you to help your children and the school copes with the harassment that comes from having a parent be a bellydancer.

Bellydancing Bellydance Bellydancers

About the Author

Maria can be seen belly dancing at the Mataam Fez, Boulder, and in various venues and shows in the Boulder and Denver area. She teaches belly dance in Boulder, and teaches belly dance and self-esteem workshops at corporate retreats.

Maria owns and operates Boulder BellyGrams which provides family and corporate belly dance entertainment, and is the webmistress of her award-winning site, www.boulderbellygrams.com.

She is an event manager for Boulder Creek Events, and produces shows and dance / entertainment stages in and around Boulder County.

Maria

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