Musician Jokes

Q: How do you get two darbecki players to play in perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.

Q: What's the difference between an oud and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up an oud.

Q: What's the difference between a mizmar and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the mizmar concert.

Q: Why do mizmar players leave their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the handicapped zones.

Q: What is "perfect pitch?"
A: When you can lob a darbecki into a toilet without hitting the rim.

Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What's the difference between a lawn mower and a mizmar?
A1: You can tune a lawn mower
A2: The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawn mower and don't return it.

Q: If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: an in-time drummer, an out-of-time drummer, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-time drummer. The other two indicate you are hallucinating.

Q: How do you make a chain saw sound like a mizmar?
A: Add vibrato.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: one to handle the bulb, and the other four to tell him how much better they could've done it.

Q: Why is an Arabic musician like a scud missile?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.

Q: What do Arabic musicians use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What's the difference between a dead mizmar player in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
A: The country singer might've been on his way to a recording session.

Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a Lebanese musician's car?
A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

Q: What kind of calendar does a mizmar player use for his gigs?
A: "Year-at-a-glance"

Q: What's the range of a mizmar?
A: About twenty yards, if you have a good arm.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A drummer.

Q: What does a Lebanese musician say when he gets to work?
A: "Would you like fries with that, sir?"

Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.

Q: Why are band breaks limited to 20 minutes?
A: So you don't have to re-train the drummers.

Q: What's the difference between Arabic musicians and terrorists?
A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have machines to do that now.

Q: "Hey, how late does the band play?"
A: "Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer."

Q: How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
A: The knock gets faster.

Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer?
A: Give him music to read.

Q: How does Warda change a lightbulb?
A: She just holds on and the world revolves around her.

Q: What do you call ten Arabic drummers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: Why are muzhars smaller than darbeckis?
A: They really are the same size, but the darbecki players heads are bigger.

Q: What's the difference between a muzhar and a darbecki?
A: The darbecki burns longer.

Q: How many sound men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: "One, two, three; one, two, three."

Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the mizmar, but doesn't.

Q: How many bellydancers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five--one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how Najwa Fouad would've done it.

Q: Why do bellydancers move when they play zills?
A: To get away from the sound!

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